Giving Gifts: A key to understand the ways of Japan

Published December 2023

Gift-giving is as much a custom of every day life as it is an art. And few cultures in the world place as much importance on gifts as Japan does. Naturally, Kyoto was for the

longest time the place in Japan where gift-giving customs developed and were refined.

As is true in many cultures, in Japan gifts can be used to express thanks or, more importantly, to strengthen or create relationships. Indeed, in a society as strictly tiered and densely urban as Japan, gift-giving is nearly always a form of communication about one kind of relationship or another.

Gift exchange is so important in Japan that there are two primary seasons for giving gifts: oseibo in December and ochugen in August. Both have historical connections to the ancestor worship rites of the New Year and Obon (mid-August), respectively. Today, both periods occur, not surprisingly, at the beginning of winter and summer, when even the business world, albeit briefly, enters a period of rest and quiet. Oseibo and ochugen were originally nothing more than a simple offering at the family altar serving as a way to welcome the spirits of the ancestors to the ancestral home. Common traditional offerings included special kinds of preserved fish, rice, and rice cakes.

Later gift-giving expanded to convey gratitude to village headmen, craft guild heads, marriage matchmakers, one’s boss, and anyone else upon whose kindness one’s own daily life depended. Given that space is limited in most Japanese homes and companies, food is a favorite gift choice. This is especially expressed in the idea of the omiyage or souvenir given to one and all of importance upon returning from a trip. Every place in Japan that attracts a modest number of tourists has it meibutsu or famous item, usually a kind of cake, cracker, or pickle.

In ancient times, all of these products had special merit: they were easy to preserve and yet differed greatly from place to place. Omiyage of this kind are available throughout the town or place they come from, especially stacked up in neatly wrapped (i.e. ready to go at the last minute) boxes at the train station. At any big international airport in the world, the Asian, but particularly the Japanese, custom of giving gifts is quite evident.

Another prominent gift custom involves weddings. In Japan gifts are given to everyone that is invited to the wedding and then another kind of gift to everyone that donated money (about half is returned in the form of a gift). All department stores have

special catalogues of popular and naturally suitable items from which one can choose a few or many of the same thing.

The “gift” department staff is trained in gift wrapping (an art and a subtle form of communication). In Kyoto, often how something is boxed and wrapped is equal in importance to the gift itself. In the old days and still often enough today, the person bringing the gift will wrap it in a furoshiki: a large, traditional cloth used to carry things and in many other ways (it is usually returned).

When you receive a gift in Japan, do not open it (unless you are asked to). Strange as it may seem, the person giving the gift will usually tell you what it is. This has much practical value: one must remember what one received; one must know what is inside to decide if and how to pass it on. Such are the secrets of gift giving!